Do you ever feel like a general feeling of unease? A feeling that most of your Life is quite uneventful and boring? That most of it is spent waiting and not really having strong emotions?
This may be especially confusing because the life you are currently living may be already quite full and very intense seen from the outside. You may have an engaging career, a loving girlfriend, maybe even some crazy adventures and holidays to spice things up. And it is very confusing because one part of you feels like this should be enough. You have a life that is already more intense than 99% of people and you should be satisfied to already have and do so much in your life.
However, thinking like that is wrong. If you are feeling like that, it means one thing. You have a potential and drive that is much higher than the level at which you are currently living at, regardless of what society, your friends, you family and even yourself think.
Where does it come from?
This intensity and drive come from the fact you are both smarter and more masculine than the average man, and not only a bit but significantly. You are wired differently and this has an impact on every aspect of your life. Your capacity for effort, focus, learning and strength of character are just much higher.
If life was less complicated, this would simply mean that you will be a perfectly happy average man, who wants the same things and who wants to live an average life but who could just do things faster and more easily than other people. This would make life for you much more comfortable. Difficulties that people encounter in your life would require little effort from your side. You would have an average life but a very easy one, surrounded by others and feeling a sense of community.
However, things are not so simple. These differences also make you much harder to satisfy, want other things than what most people want. You may also have trouble relating to most people and their aspirations for life. You may get bored easily. These are things you probably know about yourself but most of the time we grossly underestimate our true potential and real needs and wants. This means that what you actually want, whether you know it or not is a radically different life. What you want is a life that is filled with intensity and drive. Where every day is filled with adventure and strong feelings. And you should not think that it is about intense pleasures and a lot of fun. As men, we are looking even more for taking a lot of risks and fight with intensity to achieve our purpose and goals. So it is not at all about wanting more comfort than others but more intensity in general, especially in masculine activities and creativity.
Personally, I know that until recently I underestimated a lot what my true desires are and lived a life of conformity and mediocrity if I compare it with my true potential. I always expected that my life would be quite simple and free of great passion or great struggle but the more I act freely and following my true desires, the more I understand that my life is meant to be pushed to its limit and not taken lightly. There is a reason I have these desires and this drive for intensity.
What does it Feel Like to Live an Average Life
For most people, there is nothing wrong living an average life. They have average families, average jobs, average holidays. It is quite safe and they will find most people around them having the same pleasures and the same issues. They will not really feel out of place or like something is wrong. It is quite satisfying for them and worthy to pursue.
However, what happens when you yourself live like that? Do you get the same feeling of satisfaction they do? Do you feel an appreciation for life in these conditions? Do you feel fulfilled by mediocre and average in any field? If you are reading this, you are probably not. You may think you should and may even want it a lot. Maybe you are even a bit jealous of the joy they take to these simple pleasures. When you try, you do not get the same feelings at all. Personally, I know that I do not and I tried many times in many areas to settle. But for us it just does not work doesn’t it? When we try, we get this feeling of boredom and unease, as if something is amiss. And for us, it is totally normal, we are not supposed to settle, it will not work. Despite our best efforts, life will not allow us to be satisfied so easily. In a sense, the problem is very simple, we just need more. Whether more in quantity, or more intense, or maybe more unique, more tailored towards our specific personalities.
What Does it Feel Like to Live at the Edge
First, what do we mean by living at the edge? It is living life to the full extent of intensity and possibility of risks, adventures and challenges. A life at the edge will be different for everybody but it will share the same characteristics of passion and intensity. It is easy to see the difference between average lives and these intense and passionate ones. It means a life much more passionate and intense but also requiring much more effort and energy from ourselves. At the same time, more risks taken, pushing all aspects of our life to the maximum of what is possible.
A life at the edge can be best seen different in both content and intensity. If we needed to think about an example, it could be someone who has a passionate career, but also a loving and very passionate girlfriend but also amazing friends that go with him on weird and crazy adventures in exotic places. These live can look quite different but they will all always be intense and stimulating. They will bring passion to the man living them and people around him. And all creative or entrepreneurial by definition have such lives. You cannot create anything very interesting in any field without bringing as much intensity and passion as possible to your craft or business which will also influence your life and its level of passion and intensity.
To live a mediocre life, it is quite simple. The blueprint exists and everybody knows about it from their education. They can just replicate what they learned about and saw all around them with a couple of aesthetic differences such as the place they go to for holidays or the job they have but most of these lives resemble each other. As I said, there is nothing wrong with them but there is a clear difference in the outcome. For people like you and me, an intense life is required, even if we are fighting tooth and nail against it. We cannot avoid it if we want to be fulfilled, especially on the long-term.
The main problem with passionate lives is that they are different for everybody and that there is no blueprint. You may think that there is a blueprint to be a musician, one to be a painter and one to be an entrepreneur but it is not how it works. Each person that followed these professions had a unique path leading them to their particular life, in every aspect. And often they needed to work a lot on finding that path, exploring dead ends and going through difficult times of uncertainty and chaos.
This is the other side of the coin and why most people avoid such lives. You cannot have the passion and fun without the risks and uncertainty. The more you tolerate the chaos, the more passionate it will be. There is no way around that, the more we take risks, the more interesting rewards we get.
The other downside of such life is the constant need to push for more, expand more energy and to always give our best and to be all-in all the time. This takes a physical and mental toll on our energy. However, this also makes us at the same time fulfilled and improve ourselves.
If you are reading this and nobody forced you to, there is one guarantee. You will never be satisfied with an average life and you need a special and unique one that is tailored to your specific desires and what you want to achieve in your life. Of course, this does not come easily but only through exploration, learning, trying things out and introspection. This is where people struggle most, they do not see that it is not a blueprint that is given to some lucky people at birth but a true struggle of sweat and blood to find the right path to the life we want.