Learning to recognize why you feel down when you do is a very important skill in Life. It allows you to act on it and change it much more easily. This can serve for you as a checklist to look at when you do not feel well.
These things took me a very long time to understand and really realize how much they affected me and still do. They are not easy to address and take time to fully grasp their consequences. This is why it is so important to also observe ourselves and our feelings. Doing that allows us to understand what action or event provoked which feeling.
You don’t love, respect or value yourself
The opinion we have of ourselves as men signify everything in life. It is what will tell us how to interpret how we feel, influence how others see us, motivate us to pursue worthy goals or not. When you do not love yourself as a strong and worthy man, it makes you believe that you do not deserve good things. Moreover, a low self-love is felt by others and repulses people around them.
Not loving yourself is a complex issue that I will tackle in another article but the crux is to love ourselves and to take care of ourselves as we would a dear lover. You also need to have positive feelings about who you are and value your qualities.
You focused too much on comfort and rest
Rest and comfort are necessary in their many forms in the life of a man. Nothing beats a massage after a tough day working hard outside. However we tend to get too comfortable and not see that it follows the law of diminishing returns. Too much comfort and rest makes us bored, restless and more prone to negative emotions. When we can rest and relax as much as we want, we forget the deep need that men have for struggle and to spend their effort and energy.
When you feel like that, the best way is to take time to work on something or even better on your Purpose. This will give you a boost of energy very fast and change your mood.
Your Inner Fire is lacking intensity
Your Inner Fire or Thumos is this feeling of deep energy that you have in the belly. It is what makes you take risks, act with courage and with pride in the face of adversity.
When this Inner Fire is burning strong and bright, nothing can harm us emotionally, everything tends to get easier and more interesting. It also makes us more creative. However, the most interesting is that this is also what makes us be giving instead of taking from others. This kind of giving energy fills us with passion, intensity and a deep satisfaction.
You are not working on your Purpose
As a man, your North Star is your Purpose in life, that thing or set of things that make you wake up joyful and full of energy in the morning. If you are not working regularly on your Purpose, your life will feel confused. Distractions will take the place of your Purpose and you will feel weak and uncertain. Every action you will take will either be as a reaction to something external to you or as a habit.
Finding your Purpose is key to living a fulfilling life as a man. However, even if you know your Purpose, if you neglect it, you will start to feel nagging feelings of confusion and unease. You will not know why but your life will start to become bland instead of intense and passionate.
You have a Scarcity Mindset
Not seeing how abundant truly is, brings a lot of anger and frustration to your life. You may think that the World is against you, that there is not enough money, women or good things to go around but it is wrong. We live in a very abundant World and when we don’t see it, we become bitter and resentful.
To see the abundance of the World, we need to avoid thoughts of lacking something, for instance longing for a particular woman or a specific achievement. Everything in life that truly matters is abundant beyond our wildest dreams and expectations.
Sleep, Nutrition & Exercise
This is a section I would like not to have to talk about. For me sleep, nutrition and exercise were always boring topics and below more noble and interesting aspects of Life.
And this was sadly mistaken. When we are young and do not have too many things to do or responsibilities, we can afford to operate at the level of a vegetable. We do not need to have the needs for focus and energy we need as successful men. If your day consists of playing video games, eating and sleeping, you will not need nor even think about the energy you need during the day or the quality of the focus and effort you need to put into your day. However, once you are working on improving your life and having responsibilities on top, even something as a meal not taken or a bad night of sleep can have a very severe impact, even for multiple days.
Moreover, if you do not take care of them properly, you do not only put your productivity at risk but also your feelings. There is nothing more guaranteed than to feel bad and depressed during a heavy day when we are deprived of enough good quality sleep.
This is why sleep, nutrition and exercise are so important in the life of a man. For both being our best and feeling our best.
Feeling bad can be so confusing. We do not always know the root cause and we feel lost about where these feelings are coming from. This is the list I discovered about myself and I think these elements also apply to you but you may have more items to add. I hope that writing them for you may spare you some of the time it took me to figure that out. Moreover, they are all interconnected. As an example, you cannot have both a strong Inner Fire and a scarcity mindset at the same time.
The reason it is so critical to understand these things is that if you do not know why you feel bad when you do, you will not be able to change it until the feelings go on their own which can take a really long time if you are not careful and you just cannot afford it.