You probably do not really know what to do to change your mood when you feel down. To help you may use some alcohol, social networks or tv shows, maybe an entertaining video game but they are not really working, they are mere distractions from the pain, for you to bear the suffering until it passes. None of this really solves issues and you find yourself defenseless.
If there is one thing I despise more than anything in Life it is to feel powerless, numb and depressed and I am sure that you are not too fond of that either. What is the most frustrating is not even the feelings themselves but the missed opportunities to give more of our gifts to the World when we do not feel good. It literally robs us of potential joy.
Most people do not think that it is possible to quickly change their feelings from bad to feeling quite ok or even good, in a matter of minutes. However, once you start learning about yourself and experiment with the following techniques, you will discover it is possible.
Remember Who you are
Often when we feel bad, it is connected to a certain aspect of our lives. For instance, a woman just left us or we faced a major failure in a project at work. During these times, we focus on what happened and the disappointment going with it. We forget about Who we are and our self-worth and successes.
When we are proud of who we are and feel like complete men, a lot of the usual negative events and emotions in life do not touch us anymore. It is also key to feel like Life is abundant and we deserve all the good things in it. Another important thing is to remove any thought of lack by a thought of abundance in our mind.
Remember that you are a man, worthy of respect and the admiration of your ancestors but more importantly of yourself. This may seem easier to say than to put into practice, especially when we feel down. This is why it is critical to feel like that as much as possible during your life. As men we need to show the way and make sure nobody can make us doubt our worth or power. Not being fully confident and at-ease within ourselves invites trouble and grief into our lives.
However once this mindset is acquired, external events do not have such strong pull as they had before on you and your peace of mind.
Change Who you are
We wrongly assume that our personality, beliefs and behaviors are coming from our Past and that it takes a lot of effort and time to change them. Even though we should be proud of our Past and what we achieved, it should never be an anchor preventing us to change who we are.
Think about an experiment, you left all of your family behind, all of your friends and everybody that ever knew you and that you moved to a new country. Instead of feelings of loneliness, you start to feel a great sense of Freedom. You can act and decide to be whoever you want to be, without taking your past into account. Maybe you were very introverted and you want to let loose and meet people. Maybe you were very restrained and conservative and you want to whore your way up to an early grave. Or you were a scientist and now you want to teach dancing. This applies to all dimensions of your life and who you are.
Our personality is not fixed and we can decide to become whoever we want every moment. It is possible and liberating. Most of our old personality comes from our childhood with its trauma and unresolved issues. And what if we did not need to use that one but select a different one depending on whoever we want to be that day? This is obviously a bit exaggerated but shows you what is possible. It may shock people you know but you do not need to care about it. Caring about the opinion of others is also something you can change. If you care about the opinion of others, then you can never be truly free to be who you want to be. You will feel that you need to stay the same to keep the love and respect of people close to you.
Focus on your Purpose
Your Purpose in Life is your North Star, it can be used as a compass to direct all of your actions and where your attention lies. The first point is that assuming that you worked a lot on it and regularly, it is going quite well in a clear direction. This means that if you work on your Purpose when you do not feel well, it will probably energizes you and help you get back into a positive and productive mindset.
Moreover, focusing on your purpose in a smart and regular fashion will by definition produce results and achievements that will make you proud of yourself and satisfied of the gifts you brought into the World. This fulfilment is a very good cure against the ups and downs of Life.
If you are currently thinking “ok that looks amazing but I do not have a purpose, so what?” then you understand the critical importance of finding it as soon as possible.
Light Up your Inner Fire
Lighting my Inner Fire is the one that works best personally. Nothing can change my mood like feeling my Inner Fire burning inside. It feels like a well of power and intensity, ready to bring joy and passion when used.
This is what works best for me from all of the techniques I described and also the one that works the fastest. You cannot feel depressed or powerless when you feel a deep urge and drive to conquer inside of you. You may still be very negative and angry inside of you but it will be at least making you want to act and change things. And it will start to make you feel good in the moment. Even if it gives you a desire to take revenge or to hurt others, it is the first step to recover from depression and apathy. You can then use this anger in healthy ways. As for a man, the deadliest of mindsets is apathy and powerlessness.
Now let’s get to the actual steps to light your Inner Fire. You want to do activities that deeply connect you to your masculinity. It will be different for every man but there are some constants. It is activities that bring intense feelings, either done alone or with other men and that are not related to women or feminine energy. Working on difficult intellectual or creative projects, doing sport with other men, learning a new skill, those are all things that will light your Inner Fire bright and strong if you give your full effort in these activities.
There is nothing more frustrating for a man to feel down and not know how to get out of it. Traditional “wisdom” would tell us that things cannot be rushed and that all feelings need time to heal or change but that is just not true. This list is what works for me but you will probably have different ones on top. If you learn about what works for you, you can most of the time quickly change your feelings. If you are a successful man or working hard at becoming one, you just cannot afford the energy and time lost because of negative feelings. This is why it is so important to learn those skills because it is not even a question of you feeling bad but they put your chances at a great life in jeopardy and this you cannot afford.