Men can easily be categorized into three types. Their essence, their perspective on the World and their way to approach it all fall into one of these three types. These archetypes are well-known and easy to recognize once we are familiar with them. However, they are not permanent and most men start either as Neutered Males or Brutal Men in their lives and need to considerably work on themselves to progress to the King archetype which is the only healthy and ultimate expression of Masculinity.
We will look at these three archetypes through the lenses of women and leadership.
The Neutered Males (80% of men)
Neutered Males or more commonly known as Nice Guys are very numerous and most men live at least a part of their Life in this archetype. Because of their upbringing and childhood traumatisms and faulty conclusions, they repressed their masculinity and live as fantoms of their true potential in their lives and relationships. Their energy and presence in the World is diminished. All of their life is lived in either conscious or unconscious fear and shame about themselves and their place in the world. These men tend to feel inferior to women and not see their own value. They put women on a pedestal and see them as worthy of worship. This laos means that they see women as a surrogate woman to give meaning and affection to them like their mother would have. This kills all possibility to build a mature relationship with any woman.
Women are typically not attracted to this type of men, despite what they may think. It does not create the raw attraction that assumed masculinity does. They falsely see these men as kind and caring and even if they may be satisfied to finally not be with a man that treats them with contempt. However, these men are addicted to the attention these women give them and sooner or later disappoint them when these women discover the truth. Moreover, by negating their masculine energy, these men are usually not very attractive to women.
In Leadership, this kind of man is often indecisive and unclear in his vision. He lacks the strength and vitality to inspire and lead other people well.
I lived most of my life as a Neutered Male and can feel a night and day difference between who I was before and who I am now. It feels like a powerful joy, optimism and a level of enjoyment that I never felt before I started to change. This general feeling of boredom and low-level anxiety left me and I felt freed despite coming back many times to this behavior to this day.
The Brutal men (15% of men)
While Brutal men or more commonly known as Jerks are connected to their masculine energy and . They typically see the World as a dog eat dog world with little place for kindness, love or compassion. They are living a totally selfish life and see women as objects to be consumed. They are also very arrogant and project a high opinion of themselves which is only a front that many immature people mistake for true confidence. This is typically where the Pick-up artists get stuck. They do not see that they went from one extreme to the other and that both are faulty approaches to life. They mistake brutality for strength and betray their deep desire to be good men.
This is the type that gave rise to the concept of toxic masculinity which is coming from a false conclusion that masculine energy can be used to do wrong to other people ergo it is bad and should be fought and destroyed. This is contributing to the phenomenon of more and more men being disconnected from their masculinity and living below their potential in frustration and confusion.
When acting as Leaders, Brutal Men are using aggression, strength and fear to bend others to their will and often look for short-term profit and selfish motives. They see leadership as a way to increase their personal powers and advantages,
For Neutered Males when they try to live as Brutal men, being convinced it is the answer to their problems quickly start to feel much more powerful and enjoying success in life. However such success also comes with a lot of bitterness and is not fulfilling but a temporary cathartic experience at best.
The Kings (5% of men)
Once men integrate their masculinity but in a mature and positive ways, they finally act like Mature men, living freely in their integrated masculinity. Having developed themselves and left both unhealthy archetypes behind. However, it should not be seen as an average in the middle of being half strong and half kind. This type of man can be rich, have fame, be surrounded by women or none of these things but the way he conducts his life is completely different than what others do. He is comfortable in himself and his masculinity, respecting himself and not seeking the approval of others. Kings are fully aware of their purpose and goals and do not get distracted from them by women. They see relationships with women as second to the pursuit of their purpose. They enjoy immensely relationships because they do not need them and have the maturity to build authentic relationships with women. They are also very comfortable and clear about their love of sex and intimacy.
This kind of man is the most attractive to women and often mistaken as one of the other two types as such man is quite rare. Women usually do not really know how to act in front of such men and can become quite confused.
When Kings are acting as Leaders, they can be both strong and fair. They may not be appreciated by their underlings but are at ease with driving their vision and share it with others. They also feel safe to be able to be transparent and collaborate with others whenever needed.
Acting and thinking like a King is the most satisfying experience I discovered. Feeling like I am truly worthy of the best actions and the deepest respect of myself is exhilarating.
This is a very simplified description of the three types but serves a short introduction to the topic. These archetypes are present in all media and often caricatured. They are a very important to understand men and their behavior and most importantly how they can live fulfilling lives and act as examples for themselves and others.
If you recognize yourself as being either neutered from your masculine energy or jaded and seeing the world negatively, you always have the choice to start changing who you are and find a more fulfilling approach. In other articles, we will discuss the characteristics of a King and how to progress towards your ideal self.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover